I teach a course in theology & apologetics at New Minas Baptist Church every Sunday morning at 9:15am (which you can join at any time, by the way, there’s no such thing as “too late” = shameless plug), so it’s somewhat fitting that I am now compelled to offer an apology for my behaviour this past Sunday.
Pastor Mark Sypher, a gifted and passionate speaker, led us through the first story in the new “Storylines” series of messages leading up to Easter. He shared the story of Abram (whose name meant “exalted father”, Genesis 12), and the how he trusted God and believed the promises God made, despite the unlikelihood of any of them. Mark shared how God fulfilled his promises, changing Abram’s name to “Abraham” (which means “father of many” Genesis 17), promising the birth of a son and entering into a covenant with Abraham, the outward sign of which, would be circumcision of every male.
With oratorical flair, Mark paused at this point, and asked several personalizing questions, challenging at least the men in the audience to consider all the things they might be willing to give up to avoid [Insert dramatic music crescendo here] CIRCUMCISION!!!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEE!!!!! It was just then that Mark’s headset microphone shorted out, and the feedback was teeth-shatteringly loud. In the comedic attempts to disentangle himself from the headset mic (which inside his jacket to the battery pack on his belt), there was much laughter from the congregation. So we were all getting a laugh at Mark’s expense. Finally, Rick Fowler pointed him to a microphone that worked (and would reach the pulpit) and Mark says, “Okay… now where was I?”
It was at this point that, had my wife been sitting next to me, she may have inspired a little more self control, but since she wasn’t, and since we were all a little giddy, I couldn’t resist…
I cupped my hands around my mouth (so that it wouldn’t carry too far beyond Mark ears), “CIRCUMCISION…… BUT YOU GOT CUT OFF!”
It was a bad pun, yes, but when Mark made the mistake of laughing, and repeating what I’d said into the microphone… which, of course, everyone else heard… and people were crying, they laughed so hard.
So, to all present last Sunday, my apologies. Jokes about genitalia, or the surgical diminishment thereof, have little place in worship. I just couldn’t help myself 
Semi-Sincerely Yours,
Pete
PS: The whole sermon is available online as an mp3, and here’s a clip of the funny bit…
While I was not in church this morning I am all the sadder because I know that i missed such a funny moment despite it being a little inappropriate.